Gardening a day keeps the doctors away. Humor works too! Here are 73 funny garden quotes for your daily dose of laughter.

girl smiling with plants around her

Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-top-beside-green-leafed-plant-1078058/

What have you done this past year to pass the time? Most people will say that they have started growing and taking care of plants. Tomatoes, basil, cabbages, peppers, succulents, cactus, you name it and people have already planted it.

Indeed, the sudden halt to our busy lives has pushed us to reconnect with nature. It has thrust us to grow plants in order to disconnect from the technological world.

After a year cooped up in lockdown, tending our simple yet ever-expanding gardens, all we need is to relax, and have a good laugh. Here are funny plant and garden quotes, green thumb quotes, flower pot sayings, and some memes to brighten your day and get you going for 2021.

31 Funny Plant and Garden Quotes

Source: Imgur

#1 “Gardening. Cheaper than therapy (until your spouse adds up the receipts).” — Anonymous

#2 “If you are not killing plants, you are not really stretching yourself as a gardener.” — J.C. Raulston

#3 “Anyone who has time for drama is not gardening enough” — Anonymous

#4 “Housework is for people who don’t know how to garden.” — Anonymous

#5 “Nature: the greatest show on earth and admission is free.” — Anonymous

#6 “You can bury any number of headaches in a garden.” — Charles Barnard

#7 “I’m not aging, I just need repotting.” — Anonymous

#8 “Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get!” — H. Jackson Brown

Old people gardening together with hilarious old man planting bulbs while old woman using cane to make holes for planting

Source: Reddit

#9 “Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden.” — Orson Scott Card

#10 “Weeds are nature’s graffiti.” — Janice Maeditere

#11 “Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and fertilize!” — Anonymous

#12 “In gardens, beauty is a by-product. The main business is sex and death.” — Sam Llewelyn

#13 “Let’s have a garden party. Lettuce turnip the beet!” — Anonymous

#14 “Your first job is to prepare the soil. The best tool for this is your neighbor’s motorized garden tiller. If your neighbor does not own a garden tiller, suggest that he buy one.”— Dave Barry

#15 “A weed is a plant that has mastered every skill except for learning how to grow in rows.” — Doug Larson

#16 “Cauliflower is a cabbage with a college education.” — Mark Twain

#17 “An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.” — Cora Lea Bell

#18 “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit” — Anonymous

Source: planty_hoes (Instagram)
Alt-text: My parent at 29, me at 29 memes, witty garden quotes

Having a good chuckle so far? Here are a few more funny garden sayings:

#19 “Don’t wear perfume in the garden – unless you want to be pollinated by bees.” — Anne Raver

#20 “I am not a greedy person except about flowers and plants, and then I become fanatically greedy.” — May Sarton

#21“You can bury any number of headaches in a garden.” — Charles Barnard

#22 “Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.” — Dave Barry

#23 “Most gardeners are daunted, not dumb” — Felder Rushing

#24 “Gardener’s recipe: one-part soil, two-parts water, three-parts wishful thinking.” — Anonymous

#25 “A weed is a plant that is not only in the wrong place but intends to stay.” — Sara Stein

Source: planty_hoes (Twitter)
Alt-text: funny plant Twitter meme

#26 “Gardeners know the best dirt” — Anonymous

#27 “Always try to grow in your garden some plant or plants out of the ordinary, something your neighbors never attempted. For you can receive no greater flattery than to have a gardener of equal intelligence stand before your plant and ask, ‘What is that?’” — Richardson Wright

#28 “I’m not really a career person. I’m a gardener, basically.” — George Harrison

#29 “Man – despite his artistic pretensions, his sophistication, and his many accomplishments – owes his existence to a six-inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains.” — Anonymous

#30 “Old Gardeners never die, they just go to seed.” — Anonymous

#31 “Love your neighbor, yet pull not down your hedge.” — George Herbert

5 Funny Green Thumb Quotes

humorous green thumb quotes

Source: Brian Gordon (FowlLanguageComics)

#1 “I have a green thumb. Got it when I dumped out my kale smoothie.” — John Wagner Maxine

#2 “I probably wouldn’t kill so many houseplants if they could scream for food and water the way my pets and children do.” — Anonymous

#3 “I’ve got a green thumb. And if I didn’t have such a high deductible, I’d have it looked at.” — John Wagner Maxine

#4 “I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I’m the person for that job.” — Anonymous

#5 “When you’re really good with plants, they say you have a “green thumb”. I kill every goddam plant I touch. Sadly, there’s no cute name for that.” — Brian Gordon (FowlLanguageComics.com)

37 Funny Flower Pot Sayings

plant addicts unite printed on a flower pot

Source: Hannah Brown (Instagram)

Need sayings to add to your flower pot? Here are some ideas:

For your baby plants:

#1 “Grow baby grow!”

#2 You grow girl!”

For your dear aloes:

#3 “Say aloe to my little friend”

#4 “You had me at aloe”

#5 “Ale-Elijah”

For your precious succulents:

#6 “Life would succ without you”

#7 “Pearls of wisdom”

#8 “Succitumi baby!”

To use as a reminder to water your plants:

#9 “If you could not kill me that’d be great”

#10 “I need a drink”

#11 “I have asked you thrice for water”

#12 “Caution, high maintenance”

#13 “Water me, mother succa”

#14 “I wet my plants”

For your cactus buddies:

#15 “Pretty fly for a cacti”

#16 “Lookin sharp”

#17 “Can’t touch this”

#18 “Don’t be a prick!”

Funny flower pot

Source: Hannah Brown (Instagram)

For self-motivation:

#19 “Grow thru what you go thru”

#20 “Give yourself time to grow”

#21 “You can grow your own way”

#22 “I’m sexy and I grow it”

For leafy friends:

#23 “Beleaf in yourself”

#24 “Don’t stop be-leaf-ing”

#25 “Isn’t it delicious”

#26 “Kale Mary”

#27 “I like big buds and I cannot lie”

For your herbs:

#28 “Herb your enthusiasm”

#29 “Thyme is of the essence”

#30 “Stop. Hammer thyme”

#31 “Dill with it”

#32 “Elvis Parsley”

#33 “Congratulations on your big achievement!”

#34 “Netflix and dill”

For your rooty plants:

#35 “We’re rooting for you!”

If you absolutely adore your plants:

#36 “Plantastic”

#37 “Plants are my soulmates”

Wrapping It Up

Sure, the pandemic has halted our lives; but we should see the positives in it too! We get to spend more time with our family, connect with nature more, and help out in the fight against the wretched virus (stay safe!). So lighten up, surely after all that’s happened it can only go up from here.

Hopefully, our humorous, witty, and oftentimes bordering corny (haha!) list helped to bring a smile to your face. Remember that these are rough times we’re in, so cut yourself some slack, and thank yourself for giving the time that you deserve!

Did this post get you into a funny and positive vibe? We’ve got more! Read the following articles:

  • 29 Garden Quotes About Life to Drive You to Do Better
  • 19 Planting Seeds Quotes to Start Your Journey to Fulfilment